Sundown
by ZiverNavyCIS
Summary: It was their story. Theirs. But three years ago, she left Tony to share it with their baby girl. In the process of remembering her, the secret he unravels threatens everything he knew, everything about them. Post Season X.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I don't know how to describe this story I wrote, it is both sweet and bitter, I guess. It is something I wrote on the spur of the moment - I am continuing! :) I hope you enjoy it, as always! And please review so I know how it was! - Sharmane**

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Her little soft hands grabbed his rough, calloused hands as they watched the beautiful sunset - the warm orange rays shining beautifully over them, he remembered that she loved the evening sun. "Mummy loves the sun. Didn't she?" Her little, adorable voice questioned, and she looked at him expectantly. Damn, those dark eyes of their daughter - Reflected so much of her. Looking into them, it was painful but it gave him hope and will to live, because part of Ziva is still with them, in this perfect little soul they created in one night of endless passionate love-making.

Talia David Dinozzo. The first night they held her tiny form, wriggling in her arms - He swore to protect his wife, his daughter, no matter the cost. He swore to love them with all his heart, his_ life._ She is now five years old.

He failed. She isn't here with him now and it hurts. For three years, he lived alone, with their bundle of joy.

It just wasn't the same without her. Nothing is ever the same _without her._

"I love to see the sunset, you know. It kind of represents something new, something beautiful." She told him while they lay at the beach, she dressed in only a bikini, revealing her olive-tanned body for him to see. He raked his hands across her gorgeous back, grinning foolishly because she's just beautiful. And she's his.

That was the _last_ time they would ever watch the sun go down.

"Yeah, mummy loves the sun. She loves you too." He spoke, carrying their daughter up as she chuckled brightly, a beam spreading across her face. Those brown wavy curls cascading down her shoulders, that smile of hers - she's all her and beautiful. Their daughter reminds him of Ziva, everyday. Little Ziva.

"Mummy says that she loves you, Daddy. She told me that she "Ani Ohevet Otcha." to you every night!" Her voice raised, she wrap her little arms around his necks. Despite the stab to his heart for losing her, he smiled too, because of Talia. She's so happy, and he thankful to have her. To have this perfect little soul they created.

She was their creation.

"C'mon, sweetcheeks. Let's go home." And tucking her in the backseat tight, he turned on the engines and drove off. Talia fell asleep, snoring softly, her mouth slightly agape. Tears burned at the back of his eyes, she looked like her. Three years, the pain hasn't dimmed, it hasn't went away.

If not for their daughter, he might have drowned himself in the bottle the day she went away. He might have just quit NCIS for he couldn't bear to see her empty desk. He might as well quit his entire life. Be a nobody. But he is a father, and he couldn't let his precious down. Ziva would have wanted him to love Talia, despite the pain.

_He couldn't live without her._

He arrived at their home, as he gently picked his daughter up and opened the door. Maybe it's almost as if, she's still there with them. Her shoes were still where they were, her jewelry lying casually on the coffee table, her coat hanging over the couch.

He didn't want to remove them because he _didn't want to remove her._

Talia stirred slightly, rubbing her eyes with those small hands of hers, mumbled incoherently, "I'm hungry."

"Okay, lets make this princess hot chocolate with marshmallows then!" Giving her a kiss on the forehead, he placed her on her little chair.

"I love you, Daddy."

She even sounded like her. A tear slip, and he can't understand why he was so emotional today. Maybe he always has been. Finishing her drink for her, he left her to her own devices as she sloshed the drink around with the spoon, grinning in joy.

Walking into their room, he was hit with a sense of love, a sense of her.

"I want our room to be us, Tony. We should share a bed, of course." Giggling, she interlaced her fingers with his while they watched the sun go down. "We should share a cupboard. A drawer too. We should share everything. Well Talia is mine. She loves me more." Thinking about their daughter, they watched as she slept beside them. "I think she loves her handsome looking Daddy more." He replied, biting her lips playfully.

Of course Talia was hers. She is everything of her.

He opened their cupboard, and her clothes were folded neatly, her dresses hung up by her. He remembered how beautiful she can look, even with just a baggy old shirt and worn out jeans. She's beautiful in everything. Picking out the shirt and pants she bought for him, he changed into it - his mind wandering to the time they help each other wear their own clothes simply because they felt like it.

_"When I have a man, the favours I offer have little to do with clothes."_

She gave him paradise. Every thing they did together was special.

Now, Talia and Ziva are his paradise. Lying on their bed, he knew how much he missed her. Her smile, her embrace, her body, her soul - Her. Three years, it was hell without her around. Especially with Talia, for he couldn't give her an answer.

"Where's mummy?" She would ask and his heart will stop beating because he didn't know how to answer without breaking her heart. He gave her answer his dad gave him when his mum died.

"She went to this happy place called Heaven, sweetcheeks. Where she can look down on you and protect you from bad bad guys." He whispered, trying to be strong for their girl.

He couldn't protect her from the bad guys.

The moment the gun went off, she jumped in front of him - taking the bullet.

Without a word, she's gone. No final goodbye, nothing. He held her lifeless body, refusing to let go. He refused to let go of her. Tears coursed down his face, falling onto her pale one, as he sobbed in the shock, in the pain.

Shutting his eyes, he pushed that memory aside.

"Daddy, I finish." Talia shouted from across the hall. He sprang up to get his daughter. Chocolate smeared across her cheeks, she looked adorable. Just like her.

"Daddy, I miss mummy. Is she happy in Heavo?" He chuckled at her mispronunciation, because that's what she does.

"Yes, angel. She's happy."

He believed that. Ziva will always be happy, if Talia is happy. Or him, but he's happy whenever Talia is around, even though she brings back memories - She is his life.

With that said, he let Talia down from her chair, interlacing his fingers with her little ones, as they walked to the bathroom to wash up. The sun just went down...

He will never let go of her.

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**A/N: **I am continuing on the Tony and Talia's lives, also the rough journey on how Tony and Ziva created Talia! :) I remembered my summary said that, Tony would unravel a secret, yes? We are getting close to that :)

**One excerpt of the next chapter: **

"I know for the fact that we have each other. That's okay." He whispered achingly, and looked into those wounded dark eyes of hers. What he saw nearly sent him to his knees. They were filled with unshed tears of pain, as her lips quivered - she's trying not to break down. The sincerity, the love she heard in his voice touched her. _We have each other._ Yes, they do, that wouldn't change despite the fact that they're unemployed. And they will be okay, as long as they have each other.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello everyone! Sorry for the extremely late update! Basically, this story will not only contain moments between Tony and Talia - it will also have the journey Tony and Ziva worked towards to having Talia, settling down as such. They will be written in the format of like mini one-shots. Telling you this just to clear the confusion! And I am sorry if the previous chapter was a complete fluke, I really am. It wasn't really one of my best works.**

**This chapter will include what after what happened in the finale, after the team resigned. Tony and Ziva's first step towards becoming something more. :) Hope you enjoy and keep reviewing! - Sharmane :) **

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"Ssshh... Darling, go to bed. Daddy loves you." He cooed gently to Talia, who refused to sleep no matter what. Her little fist flew into his face, and he pretended to be hurt. (in fact, they were like tickles). Wincing falsely, he tried to settle her down by repeatedly stroking her hair, softly singing but to no avail. As much as he loves her, he swear, he hates bedtime.

It's like the rebellious side of her will ooze out from her those pores in her skin and his cute Talia will be locked away somewhere. _Ugh._

"No!" Okay, apparently, being the nice dad is not getting him anywhere. He tried rocking her but no, her tiny form was just protesting violently against sleep.

Oh DiNozzo, she isn't tiny little Talia anymore. She's five and no longer a baby - Big baby? Her face crunches, and damn, those eyes were looking at him really naughtily right now, taunting him, "Oh I am not going to sleep." Tantrum Talia. It lasted for a two minutes, and her movements slowly ceased as she attempted to stifle a yawn but her hands were already rubbing her eyes.

Yeah, she's tired alright.

The only one who can always successfully put Talia to sleep was Ziva. Maybe she is smirking at his clumsiness in heaven or something - he can hear her saying, "Oh Tony... You a _sucker_ at your daughter." He misses her but sometimes he would like to think that she's by his side, laughing at him. It makes life easier. Her passing wasn't a thing to be taken lightly but hey, there's no use wallowing in sadness forever. Talia needed him to be happy, to be strong.

Some days can be more difficult than others. But he likes to remember the story he and Ziva created. To remember her legacy, cherish it. Ziva lost her father, but she stood tall - his passing sure as hell wasn't _easy_ to get through but she tries to be happy.

He loves it when she began sharing stories about Eli, funny stories about her father. She would have this laugh, like a deep seated chuckle coming from her heart - and he will have this laugh ringing in his head for hours. After she's done, her voice breaks when she confesses, "My father wasn't all that bad, you know." He replied, "I know", earning a kiss from her.

Next time Talia will hear of their story and he can proudly tell her that her mother is a great woman.

She once said, "Tony, if I am dead, I swear you will be terrible with Lia." That's another name she used often. _Lia._

He just wished that her words didn't come to life.

Smiling like an idiot, he pulled the blanket over his daughter, whose eyelids were slowly shutting from exhaustion. "Told you, you need sleep." By then, she was flat out. Turning off the light switch with a soft click, he whispered lovingly, "Goodnight, sweetcheeks."

As he was getting ready to tune in for the night, the doorbell rang incessantly. Stretching his back, he shuffled his steps towards the door. He had this inkling that it was the boss. Swinging the door open, he was right. The man held a bottle of bourbon, his eyes peeking into the living room as he casually asked, "She's asleep?"

"Yea."

"How are you doing?" His voice had a tone of affection to it ever since Ziva went. Gibbs never really talked about her, but Tony knew that underneath that veil of strength, it was a whole lot of heartache and pain shoved away. There's is loads of pain in Gibbs that no one can ever truly know - the closest to him was probably Ziva. He trusted her the minute she came to work for NCIS as a liaison and he still couldn't figure out why. He let Ziva in, and no one else. She was just as important as Shannon and Kelly and she healed him more than anyone could have.

At first, Tony wasn't used to Gibbs offering so much help, he can't be blamed when Gibbs is a man of few words. Gibbs understood. Over time, he accepted his help with parenting and all - it was just the way things were. He doesn't question it. Settling down on the dining table, he popped open that bourbon for Gibbs and poured two small glasses. He watched as the drink sloshed in the glass, and in that instant, it brought him back to when Jenny died.

_"We're all alone."_

Tony was aware that Ziva began to learn that she will never be alone as the years passed - she had the team. He wasn't alone either. Back then, he had her.

"You are thinking about her." Gibbs stated simply, taking a sip from his glass. Piercing his blue eyes at him, Tony tried averting his unwavering gaze but couldn't. He never could.

"I think about her everyday, boss." His shoulders dropped, and he licked his lips a little. That was his reply, and they left it at that. Drinking in the silent vigil of the night, both of them thought about Ziva.

"When did you two... started breaking Rule 12? Well, it was after your resignation during the Parson's mess but how soon?" Breaking the silence, Gibbs questioned, only receiving a Tony with red cheeks. "C'mon. You guys obviously broke it already. Humor me." Pleading a little, his blue eyes pierced more into Tony's dark irises till he can't stand it no longer.

"Right after we resigned. We had dinner." He finally spoke, and added albeit awkwardly "Well... you can't blame us, we respected your rules y'know. But... it has been eight years! I wanted to sweep that gorgeous beauty off her feet!" His hands gesturing wildly, he whined, widening his eyes, making Gibbs beam.

"Great choice you made there. You can't make her wait forever." Retorting Tony, he put his glass of bourbon down as he stood to get going.

"What did you come here for?" It's only half an hour and he's leaving?

"To check on you." There, his boss turned to leave. The door closed behind him and once more, it's Tony with his girl again. Sighing, he plopped himself on the couch - wondering about what Gibbs just asked. That dinner, was definitely more than just a regular dinner between colleagues. They talked about things..things that _mattered_ to the heart. The boundaries they drew because of the job, no longer existed after their resignation. It gave way for them to...further discuss about where they're headed. Frankly, he was a little guilty for brushing her off in the woods and telling her that she was just a "friend" when it was clear that they were more than that. Friendship couldn't cover what they shared that's for sure, yet both of them couldn't find a word to describe them.

It was only after resigning, they had time and freedom to untangle the knotted strings and slowly work towards what they both secretly wished all the while - A proper relationship, where he can claim that she's his and vice versa.

That dinner was their new beginning - it was them being just _Tony and Ziva,_ no longer colleagues, just very best friends.

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_14th May 2013 - Resignation / A New Beginning_

Slowly putting pieces of her life into a cardboard box, her fingers held the flag Tony placed on her desk, putting this away into a box meant putting NCIS behind in another box as well.

She just wished that this box could hold more memories in it before she closed the lids of it firmly shut. Her desk was almost bare, leaving the computer and a pen holder. Tony and Mcgee did the same thing, all packing in silence. The air was tight and the room was stuffier than it should be. Slowly, the three of them shared mixed looks as they held their boxes, taking unwilling footsteps to the break room, where they sat, a million thoughts running through their minds. Their eyes darting from to and fro, their faces were tense and taut as no words came out of their mouths. Tony tapped his fingers on the table, while Ziva and Mcgee directed their focus to his tapping albeit awkwardly.

"Do you guys regret this?" Finally, Mcgee broke the tension which caused Tony and Ziva to give him a muted glare. "Of course not." They snapped in unison, and stared at each other in slight embarrassment. Mcgee rolled his eyes, tried to open his mouth but closed it shut. He will miss their fiery looks.

They all used to have so much to talk about but now, the time when they have to part - Nothing could be said. The last time they said goodbye, was when Jenny passed. They made a secret vow to never _break_ again, they were a team and they will always be family. But all this were real, no matter how difficult - the time has came to say goodbye. No one said it because it would more visceral and it will be ever more real.

"We did the right thing." Tony softly said, taking on a serious mood. "Yes, we did." Ziva answered, placing both of her hands together on the table. As if she was the leader, Tony and Mcgee followed suit as all of their hands touched, like a group handshake.

"We..had a _good run._" Ziva whispered, her voice threatening to break at the end. They had a good run, and that was true. She will miss working as a team. She will miss quarrelling with them. Nodding in sync, one thought connected their hearts - They are family, families don't break apart but they grow stronger. They may have to go separate ways, but they will always be family.

"You do what you have to for family." Mcgee repeated Gibbs' words. They gave a sad smile, and knew that it was time to leave. "I guess that we should get going, then." Ziva said with a tone of finality to it.

Deep down, neither of them knew where to go. "I am.. going to see Abby." Breaking the handshake gently, he stood up, looked at these two people who changed his life. He will miss their flirting, the way their eyes played around with each other - He will miss them. "Um.. See you guys." And he turned to leave, with reluctance as unshed tears welled up in his eyes.

He was caught by surprise when he felt warm arms wrapping around his waist. Halting his tracks, he stood while Ziva let out her sisterly side, "Thank you. For being such a good brother. Take care, Mcgee. I'll miss you." This family has been through thick and thin together and it was just hard to split up, like this. She cannot fathom life without seeing Mcgee typing furiously, working his magic or him saying words of advice.

She cannot fathom life without this team. "You too, Ziva." His voice dropped to a low whisper, he turned to face her. "Take care." Pressing her lips tightly together, she gave a good grin. A grin the came from the years of putting her life into the hands of this brother.

"Will miss ya, Probie." Tony hollered, and Mcgee really beamed because they were all accepting their fate, trying to make the best of this situation. There was nothing to sob about - they did this for the right reasons, to protect the man who protected them for years. There was nothing to regret about - they would do it again if they have to. "Will miss you, Tony." He answered and this time, he really turned to leave as Ziva let go of her embrace.

It was only right to split like this, they need their own partners now, to get through this. Rubbing her hands together, Ziva walked towards Tony as she picked up her box of belongings as well. He did the same as they faced each other, their eyes emitting sparks. Their relationship was complicated, a little of a tangled mess right now - As much as Tony brushes her off as a friend and how she defined them as a "friendship", they know that it was more than that. There was something. It is just hard to figure out that something.

Ziva was a hard woman to figure, and he accepted that. He wasn't an easy guy as well, committing to a relationship was difficult for him - he was always afraid of getting hurt. Maybe that's why their relationship was so hard to work out.

Maybe it was love? If it was, he believed that they are one step closer to it, it may be slow but they're trying.

Stepping into the elevator, a pang of sadness hit Ziva because this will be the last time they do that as partners.

"Dinner tomorrow, my place, 6pm." Tony asked aloud, and immediately regretted when a look of confusion spread across her face. It was actually more of a statement than a question, he expected her to agree to it. He didn't mean to be so blunt but that gathering seemed right to him. Well, at least they should have dinner together. It wasn't a date (maybe it was he didn't know) but it was just something they should do. "Okay. 6pm. Expect me there." A coy smile curled up, and happiness tugged his heartstrings for she agreed.

Afterall, it was only just dinner. It also meant meeting each other, a thought they looked forward to very much.

They never knew, that this dinner will spark off a _wild_ journey in their lives.

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Family is _more_ than just DNA. She stared into the mirror, looking back at the woman who looked back at her. Gibbs was family, he was her father - more than Eli ever been. He's so important to her, she was willing to lay her life down to save this man. This _one_ man. It took courage for them three to give up those golden objects that represented their lives, and honestly, she doesn't regret it one bit. But she's lost right now, she doesn't know where to go.

All her life, she tried doing the right thing. To her, right means fiercely protecting the people you love, protecting the good, and killing the bad. Sometimes, doing the right includes a little wrong. It was _for morality, for love, for family._ It all comes down to one thing she cherishes most in her life - family. Mishpacha. Sometimes, doing the right means having to live with the secrets, the lies embedded deeply within. They weren't legal, but they had to be done for family. She killed her own brother in cold blood, but where would she be if she hadn't? Would she be able to live with the fact that _he killed Gibbs,_ when she could have stopped him?

Gibbs only ever wanted to be a good man, a good marine. He didn't deserve to be trampled on simply because people do not know family like they do.

Sometimes, you try to do the right thing but there will always be another monster. Another imbecile who will use it against you. And there's one thing you can do, follow your heart and _fight._

Now, she isn't an NCIS agent anymore with no direction to go. Splashing running cold water onto her face, she blinked heavily, inhaling deep sharp breaths. Water trickled down her cheeks, as she continued staring at the face in the mirror.

God, the months has taken their toll on her. Losing her father, almost losing Tony in the accident, killing Bodnar, watching Gibbs fall - she wasn't over all those yet. Her mind was a dark mess, only that she shoved it back pretending that everything was fine. No, she wasn't fine at all. Black purplish circles lined her eyes, as exhaustion from life was shown on her face. Being home, alone - she can no longer act and pretend that she was fine, like she did when she was in the elevator with Tony.

Bodnar died. She may have told Vance that it was over but she knew, it will never be over. You don't forget, you just move on. The pain of losing loved ones, it never ends. It may hurt less with time, but it never stops. You never get _over_, you only get_ through._

Maybe it hurts that she lost her blood related family but it shouldn't hurt at all, in fact. This pain eating her heart, it shouldn't be there. She should be used to losing people she loves, it's what her life is. She didn't even contact Eli, for god's sake. It just never occurred to her, not once, that he might die. Her father was this invincible man... he doesn't just die. Okay, he may not have talked to her and vice versa but at least he was there. Alive and breathing. He was the one string connecting her to Israel, to her past - and this string snapped when he died.

Damn, it has been months and today after resigning, something in her just broke. All the emotions are flooding in at once. Wiping her face dry with a soft towel, she dragged herself to her couch and plopped herself on it. She can go on for days pushing everything in a small little box. But today, today was different. Today, she lost her _job_. Today, she lost the only thing she buried herself throat deep in to try to dim the pain, forget that things happened. Today, Ziva David was lost. Her phone lay on the coffee table - she wanted to call Tony. To talk, or just to see his face, whichever was fine. Their date was tomorrow but she wanted to hear his voice now. As stupid as it sounds, she feels alone. For some reason.

Reaching for her phone, her thumb hovered over the dial button. This year, Tony and her grew closer and they were definitely something _more._ She now knows... baring their souls was a permanent thing now. She might hold back at times, given years of holding back, years of holding a facade - but he will always be there to catch her when she falls. He will always be there to listen. He will comfort her in ways she never expected him to - with words that touch her heart, and heal it in the process. She needed him and he needed her to live, this was one aspect of them she wouldn't trade the world for.

Her thumb closing in on the dial button, she was about to call when her doorknob turned and in her face, was Tony, one hand with a bottle of wine. Grinning, he spoke, "Thought you needed some company."

"You thought right." Her voice was soft, as a sad smile went upon her face. Tony instinctively knew, she smiled just for him - she isn't really fine nor happy. Patting to the empty space beside her, she gestured him to sit beside her. Hanging his coat over her couch, he slip off his shoes and put the bottle down on the table. Till now, he is amazed and in love with the fact of how _close_ they had become. She was openly inviting him to seat right beside him, something she wouldn't have done years back. Her hair was a little tangled, her face tired and weary. Yet, she forced a small little smile for him. Licking her lips, biting it, she inched herself a little closer to him.

"Talk to me, Ziva." He urged her, tenderness lining his voice. She averted his loving gaze for a moment before bringing it back to his. Suddenly, all the pain she felt earlier couldn't be translated into words. Her heart raced a little, realizing that she was to confess something so stupid. That she was in this tangled web of horrible memories, memories that were just flooding her. And she felt alone, she felt lost. This wasn't how she was supposed to be - she was supposed to be strong, and everything.

"Hey." He took her chin lightly between his thumb and his forefinger, his gesture pleading for her to stop bottling up the hurt. It was yet another act of intimacy that both of them didn't question. His hand lingering for a few seconds, he let go as she closed her eyes and swallowed, trying to clear that lump of emotion clogging her throat.

"I've been thinking about things, you know." Hesitating, she bit her lips again in uncertainty of what she should say to him.

"About?" He questioned, dreading that he might have crossed another boundary. In Berlin, she said the exact same thing and he left it at that. Truth is, he wanted to prompt her on, to let her continue on what she was actually thinking but decided that it was her "Bodnar boundary".

After the crash, after resigning, after kissing her in the forehead - He wasn't so sure if the boundary should actually be in their way now.

Inhaling in a sharp breath, she said three simple words to sum up everything she had been these months. It wasn't much information she gave, but she simply couldn't find the words to describe herself now. Other than,_ "I'm a mess."_ She replied in a slightly shaky voice as her tone had a tinge of finality to it, as if she had sucuumbed to that very fact. Tony was a little taken aback by the naked truth presented right in front of him, and his heart was wounded by how vulnerable she sounded. He could see her face hardening, trying her very best to look strong.

He wished that she knew that didn't have to be strong for him.

"Ziva, you're not a mess. It's going to be okay." He reassured her, then realized what he just said and mentally slapped himself. _It's going to be okay?_ _Really DiNozzo?_ She stiffened and curtly replied, "It's not going to be okay. You know that."

"I know for the fact that we have each other. That's _okay._" He whispered achingly, and looked into those wounded dark eyes of hers. What he saw nearly sent him to his knees. They were filled with unshed tears of pain, as her lips quivered - she's trying not to break down. The sincerity, the love she heard in his voice touched her. _We have each other._ Yes, they do, that wouldn't change despite the fact that they're unemployed. And they will be okay, as long as they have each other. He moved closer to her, his lips against her temple. His hands reached out for hers, as his fingers slid across hers, his palm gently touching hers, then his fingers curled tightly.

"Thank you." She spoke softly, her eyes melting into his loving ones.

"You're welcome." He replied quietly, holding on to her for a while longer before letting go. Letting go of some of the hurt she has concealed in her.

"I shall make dinner, if that's fine with you." She suggested with a true, genuine smile this time. He beamed brightly, "I would love to see you going all domestic, Ziva." She smirked, and he knew that if they both had each other, they will be okay after all.

**A/N: Leave a review on how this went? :D **


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N:**_ It has been a ridiculous amount of time since I updated this story and I deeply apologize - busy is not an excuse but thank you if you are still on for the ride. I thank everyone. My final exams are coming (following week) and I might not update as often but this story is ongoing. And please review! - Sharmane.

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_29th September 2019_

_"I'll love you till the end of time."_

Her words rang in his ear over and over. It was the bad days where he couldn't stop thinking about her; he couldn't stop seeing pieces of her. The office was a mixture of busy and quiet, it was busy on the evidence side - with new cases pouring in and it was quiet on their side because there was nothing so far. He looked at the framed photo of her and Lia in the park, her pushing Lia high up into the azure blue sky. Smiling sadly, his thumb made circles over the picture, his lips tugging a little upwards, his heart tingling.

_He was the one taking the picture, yelling excitedly for Ziva to push harder and happy that his girl was laughing innocently and with her high pitched voice, screaming "Mama! Dada!" He swore he never felt a pride tumbling so deep in his life. Ziva threw him a passing glance, her eyes twinkling with joy under the sunlight. He flicked his chin upwards as if signaling to her "This is our girl, Ziva. She's happy." She understood and exploded into giggles when Lia abruptly got off the swings, wrapping her tiny arms around Tony's leg. She rubbed her face into his knee, refusing to let go. Ziva stood from the distance, admiring the view. Her curls swept across her sweaty face as the gentle breeze touched her and she still cannot fathom the fact that this is her husband and this was their child. They made a baby, a beautiful little girl. Her heart soared; she never depended on happy endings but this, was something worth to be happy about. Letting out a long breath, the sun was getting a tad bit too unbearable. Time to head home._

_Home. She has a home here now, with Tony. She has firm roots planted to this place. She came to NCIS to settle down, never she'd imagine she would have a child and a loving husband. Long gone was the steely eyed Mossad Officer, in her place was a mother who would do anything for her child, inclusive of taking out the bad guys. Tony, on the other hand, was using both of his palms to grip Talia's little fists and turning in circles with her. His eyes widening abnormally and his mouth agape; making monkey faces at their daughter, yes, he was Tony DiNozzo, the class clown. Which is why she loves him, among other reasons. Weariness was seeping in for the parents but Talia was bubbling with joy, so they persisted for a few more minutes before Tony gently carried Talia up to walk her home. Despite protesting, she eventually gave in to the exhaustion and fell asleep._

_It was a simple trip; but a happy one that didn't involve work or anything else but them._

The picture seemed to be the only thing that exists in this headspace right now. His headspace. If only he could reach out and fall into that memory; as if in limbo - he would have. He thinks about her every second of his life, he thought of her. The way she smells, the way she ties her hair, the way she smiles - just her.

He's afraid to forget her. There is jabbing fear that one day he will think of her, and he can't remember the way she talks or moves. He's afraid to forget. Because by forgetting, she will truly be gone. That was this irrational fear that scares him. There have been times where he has looked at Talia, and didn't see his daughter. That scared him too.

She was their daughter, godammit. Yet, when he looks at her - he saw Ziva. A splitting image of her was Talia and times when he didn't see his daughter but only Ziva, made him so guilty. Ziva would have wanted him to forget her, and take care of Talia. She would have wanted him to move on. Find a woman better than her, but there was no one. There only ever was her. A few times he tried to bring someone, go out more but he ended rejecting everyone. It wasn't because they sucked, but none of them was her. He sees Talia and he only sees her. He loved both equally yet questioned his ability to parent after she went.

"You are thinking of her." Mcgee's voice cut through his thoughts, and annoyingly, he stared at him. Why do everyone ask him as if it was a_ sin_ to think of her?

"Yeah you didn't lose a wife and your child didn't lose a mother!" He yelled, a deep growl, beckoning people to turn and stare at him. There was a long silence, and he felt his control slip away once again.

The room was still.

"I lost my sister, Tony." Casting a glance at Tony, he forgave him anyway. Sometimes, grief makes people angry. Very often it changes someone. For better or for worse, that's up to the person. Tony... changed so much. He changed after he fell in love with Ziva and while they were in love. He changed again after Talia. With Ziva, he was happy - he learnt commitment and all the abandonment issues he suffered whilst young. He saw a more serious Tony, a more healed Tony. But once she left, Tony hardly spoke. Something in him changed and his heart was cordoned off. The light in him just... went off completely. He's always angry. Hardly happy. He tries to be for Talia but that pain was deeply etched in his eyes, a faint flicker, every time he sees his own daughter.

But he forgave him anyway. Everyone did. How can you get angry with a man who has lost so much? They tried to help him little by little, taking care of Talia at times and Tony appreciated it. That's all they need, to see him happy, even for a little while.

A little while.

* * *

_14th May 2013_

Dinner was quiet affair. He scrutinized her every move, his gaze intent on her. He sensed that she knew but ignored him. The extent on how close they were now, was unexplainable. At least, she allowed him to catch her when she fell - and that's okay for the moment. As he chewed on his pasta (her cooking skills were superb), he wondered if this, them having dinner would be a common occurrence.

He wants it to be. For after Berlin, he just feels like he needs to be there with her, to see her everyday, y'know. This feeling he cannot shake off no matter how hard he tried. They finished their meal, she flashed him a smile as she collected the dishes and proceeded to the kitchen.

"Are you, my little hairy butt, going to help me with the dishes? Or you going to just sit there?" She hollered, giggling, gesturing for him to go over. A smile tugged at his lips as he ran towards her, and he felt...homely. They had each other, they'll be okay, he reckoned. As he scrubbed the dishes along with her, their hands crossed and touched each others for an unbelievable amount of time. Her eyes held a twinkle and she wondered when did his eyes took on a deeper shade of green.

Jobless, no longer partners, just very good friends.

* * *

The very first day, he went over to her apartment - they talked on extremely deep personal level. Then they had dinner, and they scrubbed dishes together happily. She couldn't explain how all this happened. Suddenly, they're like their usual selves for he pushed her buttons all day long, criticizing her English, and even once, he brought her to a funfair where he got her a huge teddy bear, one she can't help but touch everyday.

But she couldn't define them. She couldn't define what their_ thing_ was. Friendship was the word she stuttered over, and friends was the word they used. They were more than that but there wasn't exactly a word to describe their relationship, but they've always been like _that._ Tony and Ziva.

All these movie dates, all these teasing and they got nowhere close to _defining_ what they were. And all these times they were afraid to touch on the subject of what they were, either he or she would steer the subject away - and move on to another mindless talk. She wanted them to be close like this forever, but it eventually end for both of them are conflicted. Soon, all these banter will lead up to, to a place they were avoiding all these while.

Their game has changed - they were more personal, trustful of each other and more open, definitely.

The question is, where was this game going?

* * *

_So their game is headed somewhere. Haha, reviews are lovely and I know my summary said that he would unravel a secret, yes he will. But now onwards, it will be like past, present. Past being how he and Ziva defined them, and present on how Tony copes and what he will unravel, in a few chapters more. Thank you for reading. - Sharmane :)_


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